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Suicide notes of Aaron Hernandez revealed in new book

August 21, 2018  |  Posted by: Francesca Falzarano
Suicide notes of Aaron Hernandez revealed in new book

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When defense lawyer Jose Baez first met Aaron Hernandez two years ago, the former NFL player was already doing a life sentence behind bars.

The then-26-year-old had been convicted in the slaying of Odin Lloyd, an acquaintance, in 2013, after playing three seasons with the Patriots. Now, he needed an attorney for another indictment, involving an earlier double murder.

Baez accepted the case and developed a relationship with the athlete. He helped Arron Hernandez secure an acquittal in 2017, but two days later, the 27-year-old committed suicide in his cell. A brain scan showed that the former tight end had sustained severe brain injuries often seen with chronic traumatic encephalopathy (CTE), due to repeated blows to the head while playing football.

Doctors even revealed that it was the most severe case they had witnessed in someone of such a young age.

Baez has documented the final year of Fernandez’s life in his new book “Unnecessary Roughness: Inside the Trial and Final Days of Aaron Hernandez” (Hachette Books), which will be released this week.

Among the revelations revealed in the book are three notes discovered after Hernandez’s hanging, written to his daughter, Avielle Jenkins-Hernandez, who is 5-years-old, his fiancée Shayanna Jenkins, and Baez.

Excerpts of the suicide notes were released by the New York Post.

“[Hernandez] wrote letters the night he died, discovered in his cell and released to us by corrections officials a few days after,” Baez stated.

The New York Post has published those suicide notes for the first. In highlighted text, Baez explains the hidden meanings behind Hernandez’s statements.

On the looseleaf paper was a letter addressed to Baez, dated April 18, 2017. “Nothing in [it] suggests Aaron was thinking of killing himself,” Baez noted. “He talks about contacting artists and that if I can’t help him, he’ll figure something out. It’s a sweet letter I’ll cherish. That was the real Aaron.”

The letter began by saying: “Jose, What’s up, brotha?”

“Aaron often addressed me as brother. We had a close relationship. When I met him I sat and said, ‘I’m gonna be your lawyer, your priest.’ It was a big-brother relationship. We would talk about life. I gave him advice. He was needing [it].”

The letter continued, “I wrote this letter following my acquittal and wanted to voice how I felt and let some people whos[e] music helped me get through hard times. Wrong or right — I follow my natural instincts and how it guides me. Pros or cons I didn’t weigh them. I want you to know you have me forever and I’m not perfect but my love and loyalty is like you’ve never seen! I appreciate your work, time, effort, and never let that slip your mind! In time, you will see how appreciated you are! But never misremember I will whoop your ass if you get too crazy . . . haha!”

Baez interpreted this by saying: “We gave everything we had to that case, worked all-nighters. He wanted to let us know how much that meant to him. That’s Aaron. He joked all the time.”

The letter continued: “All jokes aside, I hope your son is well! I need a favor — If you have any contacts for like Gates, Meek Mill, Ross, Jay, Game…”

Hernandez was pointing to hip-hop artists Kevin Gates, Rick Ross and Jay-Z. “Kevin Gates was a client, but the others weren’t. Aaron loved rap and hip-hop, and he used music to get through — he had a lot of tough times. This shows [that] when he was writing that he was upbeat and positive, that he was looking forward. This corresponds with my last conversation with him, hours before,” Baez said.

“I would like to send you letters so you can send their information or whichever way you think best. I don’t want media getting to me, trying to send my love to all the artists who got me through and sending respect to a few of the real ones out there. So I think that’s the best idea through you. It’s something I have to do, and I’d appreciate if you could do that, if possible! If not, I’ll figure something out. Well, love ya brother!

– Aaron

Aaron’s letter to his fiancee, Shayanna Jenkins.

The other two letters discovered in Aaron’s cell were more ominous than the one written to his lawyer.

“I don’t believe he was in sound mind,” Baez said of Hernandez’s letters to his daughter and partner. “I have mixed emotions when I read these. In one context I’m reading them as his lawyer while investigating his death, but in another, he’s a young man I knew, liked and cared for . . . He had a serious brain disease. We need more awareness or we’re going to see more suicides.”


You have always been my soul-mate, and I want you to love life and know I’m with you. I told you what was coming! I love you so much and [you] are an angel. We split into two to change the world! Your characteristic is that of an angel and the definition of God’s love! Tell my story but never think anything besides how much I love you. This was the supreme almighty plan, not mine! I love you! Let Avi know how much I love her! Look after Jano and Eddie — they are my boys (You’re Rich).

[Jano and Eddie] are his cousin’s children. Their mother died, and Aaron wanted to look after them. Unfortunately, he was in prison, so he asked Shay to look after them. I don’t know what [‘You’re Rich’] refers to.”

On a third page, Baez added, Hernandez “sounds like a man who had accepted fate. It’s as if he saw the angel of death. In big letters, he wrote”:


On the next page, Hernandez said:

I love you all! We are all each other! Don’t shed one tear I am with all of you and never wasn’t!

Finally, he said:


At the end of the letter is a picture that shows a rope dangling from a noose.

The final note to his daughter Avielle Jenkins-Hernandez


Daddy will never leave! I’m entering the timeless realm which I can enter into any form at any time because I see all at once! Life is eternal!!! Love, repent, and see me/yourself in everyone because that’s the truth! I’ll see you in the heavens awaiting you with the same love. Never fear, but love me with all of you! Fear is the only separation between you and I! We are each other — there’s no need to fear but what you do unto another will come back around!

Power of Now

Conversations with God 1, 2, 3

Home with God

Anuk Ausar “Metu Neter”

“These are books I am guessing meant something during his time in prison. It’s not uncommon for people who go through hard times to reach into faith. He had people who supported him and [sent] books to him. He ordered books from the library.”

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